When should you give it up your dreams?

Recently, I had lunch with a friend that is following her dreams. I met her a few years back when she answered a job notice for my film, Phobia. She was an outstanding and unbelievable worker that was always looking to do and learn more. She became a highly respected and liked crew member. Over the next couple of years, she worked on numerous productions in various positions. However, during that time the film production business began to slow up. She began to pursue her teaching degree. This year she completed her degree and became certified. With the limited production jobs and her degree, she began interviewing for teaching positions… she had nearly given up on her dream to work in production. THEN, out of nowhere a production company called her from her resume submission months earlier. She now works for an extremely busy production company in an important capacity. She could have given up on her dreams, but she did not.

My dream of being a writer began when I was in the single digits. My first comic story was submitted before I was 15-years-old. My first screenplay was written before I ever considered going to college. Over the last few years, I have (with a creative partner) had a Los Angeles-based international agent, optioned a feature-length film script, had that same script go into pre-production with a $10M budget (before a hurricane closed it down), directed a short film and had the same short film debut at a film festival in NYC. I make baby step progress towards fulfilling my dream.

Despite knowing that, as Lao-tzu would put it, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”, it can be quite a test on occasion to keep focused and directed to your dreams.

I have met many people over the years that have seemed as passionate as me, or even more so. Yet, after a time they drop their dreams and “make do” or “settle”. I can’t tell you how many people I have met that have put an expiration date on their dreams; people that have quit because they have not had the success that they thought that they should have by their 25th or 30th 0r 35th or 40th or whatever.

Louise Hay was 61-years-old when she published her 1st book. At the age of 80 and as a publisher, her book company became one of the largest publishers of Christian books in the world.

Many people in the entertainment industry may not receive any acclaim until later in life. Sir Ian McKellen had parts in over a dozen films from the time he was about 30-years-old; however it was not until he turned 60 and Apt Pupil and Gods and Monsters were released that the world “discovered” him. Then, X-Men and Lord of the Rings made him a worldwide acting superstar.

I have a friend that has a dream of writing a line of children’s books. For nearly 10 years we have been talking about these characters and plots… I know what will happen for at least ten books. I am so invested in these books after talking about them for so long that I fight him every time he wants to make changes. However, he is “to busy”, by his admission, to write. Yet, he wants to put an expiration date on his dream. He has the passion, the talent but I’m not sure about the confidence. It will be an injustice if I am the only one to ever hear his stories… especially since he has had some creative ideas that I would like to use, but have agreed not to… at least until he can publish…

Myself. It seems that I have been climbing up Mount Everest, in a blinding snowstorm, with a broken leg or two ever since the principal photography of Phobia ended. I have had two children born (they are a BIG plus- but still they can slow progressive forward movement). I have had multiple family members pass away after long illnesses. My son, who is nearly 2-years-and-9-months, has probably spent more than 6 months of his life (total) in the hospital just visiting loved ones. Throw in a near-death accident and other health issues for loved ones. Mix in a little bit of being laid off. I get down on occasion; once in a while I want to put an expiration date on my dreams… but I can’t.

I was born and mostly raised in the Hudson Valley in N.Y. The place I lived was not exactly small or rural, but it had a “small hometown” feel to it. Much like the place that The Dixie Chicks sing about in “The Long Way Around”, people grow up and marry the kids of their parents’ friends and buy a house a block away from their parents. I never, not even as a child, felt like I belonged there. I have a dream of something more, a dream that will never die.

So, what do I do?

I stop, take a deep breath (or ten), then I plant my feet, lower my head down and prepare to force my way forward, no matter what the pace.

After all, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”, and I have taken that 1st single step.

Don.