One Filmmaker's Journey...: G.I. Joe is there!!! ...more or less...

G.I. Joe is throughly entertaining...

Just don't go expecting high art.

I was an avid reader of Marvel's Larry Hama's G.I. Joe comics of the 1980's. I liked the cartoon but felt that it strayed to much from the comic. The comic was GREAT! The fact the Joe team was based on a real military base was cool. The fact that Cobra was based out of Springfield was brilliant. The fact that Cobra Commander was a disillusuioned car salesman that inadvertantly began a ku klux klan organization to defy the government was ingenious and very phrophetic... (Maybe Timothy McVeigh was a Cobra Commander fan...) The Snake-Eyes stories (whether with Storm Shadow or Scarlett) were always a high point of that month's comic readings.

But I Digress...

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is kind of a happy mess. Dennis Quaid is frakking great as Hawk. Rachel Nichols was pretty kick ass as Scarlett (though to young for the role). Sienna Miller did a good job as The Baroness despite the writing.

The base located in the desert left me with questions- such as why is a super secret black ops organization being run from the middle of a third world country, among others.

The Snake-Eyes/Storm Shadow stuff was handled pretty well while taking little from the actual history. I understand that it is hard to take stories with a backdrop of Vietnam and modernize them. Even with the various Gulf War iniatives it is not the same. Making the "brothers" children was not a bad idea. Having them still be children when the Master was killed was not so great as it never allowed time for the kids to bond. This film made them appear to be enemies while skipping all of the parts that made them brothers.

One of the worst historical revisions was the line about Snake-Eyes taking a vow of silence after the death of the Master. Again, this may have worked had they still not have been kids. Really, would a black ops group recruit a man that would never talk? How did he even get into the military without being able to say "Yes, sir"? In the comics it was an accident that disfigured him. What was wrong with that?

Personally, I think that the script chose the wrong lead characters. Duke and Ripcord? Duke was just a replacement for Hawk... and Ripcord? I don't think that he was ever an interesting character. Though Marlon Wayans played him well. And having all of the villiany rest on McCullen's shoulders? Poor choices.

And, don't even get me started on those dumbass roboto suits...

And then there was that awful ending... Rex turns McCullen's face in to metal, when he had the original mask next to him the entire time? (Have you not learned anything for the ludicrisness of Fantastic Four's Dr. Doom's stupid metal skin?) The fact that both McCullen now Destro and Rex now Cobra Commander are captured AND the fact that The Baroness was revealed to be a pawn... and let's not forget the fact that Storm Shadow died (allegedl) violently. The only villain left is... the President of the United States/ Zartan.

So, sequel? The president closes down G.I. Joe and General Hawk with the help of the original Joes (i.e. Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, Stalker, Doc, Rock'n Roll, Grunt) and the healed Storm Shadow and Baroness save the world from... Serpentor!!!

Some may think that this is a bad review. It's not. This is an accurate review. I enjoyed the movie. I didn't look at my watch until about the last 5 minutes so it kept me entertained, which is more than most movies...

Don.